The Onion News Network, the “finest” source for today’s news has breaking news lately.

With breaking news:

“Clean-up crews are hard at work after a VH1 bus carrying reality show contestants overturned, spilling 2,000 pounds of highly concentrated slut.”

and

“The DEA says Lil Wayne is an indispensable weapon against Mexican drug cartels having eradicated 40 tons of marijuana alone by smoking it himself.”

Check out the special coverage after the jump!