Box Office Battlefield: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Into the Storm, Step Up 5, and The Hundred-Foot Journey

The weekend warriors of August 8, 2014 includes Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Into the Storm, Step Up All In, and The Hundred-Foot Journey. Every week, movie studios select candidates to enter the glorious battlefield for your hard-earned dollars, Box Office Battlefield is here to help you decide which movie(s) will take priority over the others and determine who will be victorious.

Last weekend, Guardians of the Galaxy destroyed the competition and smashed August box office records. And this weekend, the intergalactic team is up against some lean mean green fighting ninja machines. Can our heroes of the galaxy defend themselves against our heroes from the sewers? Cowabunga! This is the Box Office Battlefield:

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Jonathan Liebesman) Rated PG-13 [101 min] – A group of mutated warriors face off against an evil kingpin who wants to take over New York. Starring Megan Fox, Will Arnett, William Fichtner, Noel Fisher, Danny Woodburn, Pete Ploszek Alan Ritchson, Johnny Knoxville, Jeremy Howard, Tony Shaloub, Tohoru Masamune, and Whoopi Goldberg

Rotten Tomatoes Score: Critics – 20% • Audience – 65%

The trailers look pretty meh, and I don’t expect much from Liebesman delivering something coherent. What say you other critics?

“If you thought Michael Bay had forgiven Megan Fox for saying he was “like Hitler,” this new April O’Neil role is proof he hasn’t.” – Amy Nicholson (LA Weekly)

“Is there a word that means the opposite of Cowabunga?” – Claudia Puig (USA Today)

Well then. The only reason I’m seeing it is because I graduated high school with Leonardo. Say what?! WAIT FOR IT ON NETFLIX!

The Hundred-Foot Journey (Lasse Hallastöm) Rated PG [122 min] – The Kadam family clashes with Madame Mallory, proprietress of a celebrated French restaurant, after they open their own nearby eatery, until undeniable chemistry causes the Madame to take gifted young chef Hassan under her wing. Starring Helen Mirren, Om Puri, Manish Dayal, and Charlotte Le Bon

Rotten Tomatoes Score: Critics – 62% • Audience – 81%

Helen Mirren is great, but I don’t think this is that compelling of a story to really warrant a two hour movie.

“The Hundred-Foot Journey is a by the numbers, yet charming, handsome, and well-acted dramedy that the whole family can enjoy.” – Sandy Schaefer (Screen Rant)

“Hallström designs The Hundred-Foot Journey to provoke smiles, tears, and stomach growls. It’s not filling, but it’s tasty. ” – Matt Patches (IGN Movies)

Chef meets The Best Marigold Hotel? Maybe? Looks kinda boring to me. WAIT FOR IT ON NETFLIX!

sInto the Storm (Steven Quale) Rated PG-13 [89 min] – Storm trackers, thrill-seekers, and everyday townspeople document an unprecedented onslaught of tornadoes touching down in the town of Silverton. Starring Richard Armitage, Sarah Wayne Callies, Matt Walsh, and Max Deacon

Rotten Tomatoes Score: Critics – 19% • Audience – 60%

BEWARE, this is a found footage film apparently. This does not bode well at all.

“At the climax of “Into the Storm,” colossal tornadoes make noise, blow things up, and go around in circles; that’s pretty much all the film does, too.” – James Rocchi (The Wrap)

“A good deal of screenwriter John Swetnam’s dialogue sounds like auto-corrected exposition, designed to reveal nothing in the way of character.” – Michael Phillips (Chicago Tribune)

I don’t think this will live up to the magic of Twister. It doesn’t have Helen Hunt, Bill Paxton, or Philip Seymour Hoffman. SKIP IT!

Step Up All In (Trish Sie) Rated PG-13 [112 min] – All-stars from the previous Step Up installments come together in glittering Las Vegas, battling for a victory that could define their dreams and their careers. Starring Ryan Guzman, Briana Evigan, Adam G. Sevani, and Misha Gabriel Hamilton

Rotten Tomatoes Score: Critics – 44% • Audience – 67%

YES. All of these movies are ridiculously stupid and eye rolling, but the dancing is just incredible.

“The film has a muscled buoyancy and thrilling, joyful spectacles that make the fifth installment of the popular franchise an energetic crowd-pleaser.” – Inkoo Kang (LA Times)

“Whatever the other flaws, the dancing itself rarely seems to disappoint in these movies.” – Bilge Ebiri (Vulture)

Step Up 5 has more praise than TMNT. I know that’s not saying much, but it is. SEE IT IN THEATERS IF YOU LIKE SPECTACLE, OTHERWISE STREAM IT!

What If (Michael Dowse) Rated PG-13 [102 min] – Wallace, who is burned out from a string of failed relationships, forms an instant bond with Chantry, who lives with her longtime boyfriend. Together, they puzzle out what it means if your best friend is also the love of your life. Starring Daniel Radcliffe, Zoe Kazan, Megan Park, and Adam Driver

Rotten Tomatoes Score: Critics – 73% • Audience – 74%

I’ve been waiting for this movie ever since it was originally entitled The F Word. I’m just a sucker for movies of this nature.

” What If doesn’t break new ground. But it has charm to spare, and Radcliffe and Kazan are irresistible. No ifs about it. ” – Peter Travers (Rolling Stone)

“While What If does have its blemishes — there are times when it’s just too cute for its own good — it’s so enjoyable from moment to moment that it’s easy to forgive.” – Stephanie Zacharek (Village Voice)

Harry Potter in an indie, romantic dramedy. I dig it. MATINEE IT!

Turtles stands a good chance to dethrone Guardians but the terrible reviews gives me reason to believe otherwise. So as it stands, I believe the victor for this weekend shall be: