First Transformers: Rolling on the Floor, Reviews

bitch slapped

So the Brits got to see the first full finished version, unlike in Japan where they got about a 98.9% version, and they are coming out with the first reviews for it. As to be expected, which I didn’t expect much other than nonsense of explosions, plot holes and lack of story. Meh, oh well, I’m sure it will make a bajillion dollars anyways and Michael Bau will be laughing to the bank along with cronies Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci. Here are just a few exerpts of what some critics said and you can click on their sites to read the full reviews. Reviews after the jump:

IGN UK – “Indeed the film reaches its pinnacle with one such action set-piece that takes place in a forest – a brilliantly crafted sequence that is kinetic, emotional and genuinely thrilling. Unfortunately however, it is a climax that comes only an hour or so into the movie – the remaining 80 or so minutes just never quite scale the same heights.

That’s the one BIG problem with ROTF; the movie stops dead halfway through, and then spends the rest of its overlong run-time building up a head of steam again, painstakingly setting up the eventual climax.” 3/5 stars

Total Film – “Bay baiters will be in hysterics when he ostentatiously nods to his own oeuvre with Pearl Harbor ship-sinking, Armageddon metropolis destruction and a Bad Boys II promo on Sam’s dorm room wall.

But fans of The Bayhem will have their eyes on another poster in Sam’s room – the Cloverfield one-sheet, which betrays the glory at the heart of the flick. It’s a thrill-ride, plain and simple. And it delivers.

For all its faults, Fallen is genuinely more enjoyable than the summer’s other giant-robot picture Terminator Salvation. In contrast to McG’s portentous, po-faced tone, Bay works in a likeable strain of knowing humour that makes the two hour-plus running time fly by.” 4/5 stars

SciFi Now – “This movie will do very well indeed. Sequel to 2007’s smash hit, Transformers, Michael Bay’s Revenge Of The Fallen is as big and burly as fans of loud, frenetic blockbusters will want it to be. It shouts, it screams, it explodes, it screams some more and then it explodes again; it is more than simple cinematic fodder for the preteen Saturday mobs, it is the next stage in the evolution of cinematic fodder, stripped down and streamlined to feature only marketable, trailer-friendly, toy shelf-conscious moments. Junk, then.

It’s perhaps important to establish early on that the many, many, many devout fans of the first film will most likely get more than enough out of the sequel, but surely even they will concede there was significantly more to the 2007 box-office behemoth. With LaBeouf’s Sam Witwicky, audiences had a character they could root for, while the central premise of ‘boy buys car, cars turns out to be alien robot, boy saves world’ had more than a touch of Spielberg about it. There were, too, moments of genuine awe as heroes from yesteryear stomped back onto present day screens and gave us a CG-heavy high five. But most of these elements have been banished from Revenge Of The Fallen, leaving something mechanical, uninteresting and soulless. ” 2/5 stars

Mirror – “In terms of explosions, firepower and sheer shrill, all-action, popcorn entertainment it is hard to see how this big’n’bold sequel can be topped this year.

Star Trek might have had more spaceships and aliens and Terminator: Salvation more grim-faced robots, but this Michael Bay summer blockbuster is pure mindless adventure mayhem that sticks firm and hard to its winning formula. In truth, it is a film for teen boys – and a bloomin’ long one at that – but is also a guaranteed multiplex crowd pleaser.

Saying that, for the most part it is also a complex lumbering mess of a movie that is long on turgid backstory and short on tension, laughs and subtle acting.”

The Shiznit – “Here’s the thing. Revenge Of The Fallen is a kids’ movie; the secret to enjoying it as an adult is to unlock the ten-year-old within (and not the one in your cellar, bunnngg). It is, in common parlance, completely and utterly retarded. The juxtaposition between hardcore military war movie and shitty Saturday morning cartoon feels downright bizarre at times. You’ll be creaming at the sight of the US army unloading their weapons on the enemy, only to feel a little ashamed when you remember their enemy is a race of evil alien robots who want to destroy the sun. Somewhere towards the end, when you realise the plot literally centres around magic dust, you’ll feel ever-so-slightly silly for enjoying it.” 4/5 Stars

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