Surrender Your Wallet To Hollywood, A 2011 Summer Movie Guide!

Going into the third weekend of May, the 2011 Summer movie season has been in full swing. Some would say that this year has been so packed full of high intensity big budget blockbusters that the Summer movie season started in March.

There is no doubt that 2011 has had some pretty thrilling and explosive movies before now with Battle: Los Angeles, Sucker Punch, Rango, Fast Five, Source Code, Hanna, and Scream 4, but the real heavy hitters have only just begun.

Summer movies can be pretty formulaic in terms of their content: bigger explosions, glossy cinematography, incredible scores, and big name actors, but looking past the stereotypes, the Summer of 2011 will absolutely rape your wallet in my opinion. I believe there won’t be a single weekend where I won’t be visiting the theaters until mid August.

Be sure to check out the full schedule of movies coming out this Summer after the jump!

The thing about 2011, in my eyes, is that it will be one of the biggest years for box office records, ever. There is at least one record that this year holds and that is the record for the greatest number of sequels in a single year. Do you know what that number is? 27. There are a whopping 27 sequels this year and they could end up drawing out of some of the biggest box office numbers ever.

It is only May and according to BoxOfficeMojo, this year has already accumulated $3,348.6M in sales and 426.0M tickets have been sold. In 2009, the box office reached the highest grossing year ever due to Avatar with an end total of $10,595.5M in sales and 1,412.7M tickets sold. Now this is only the beginning of the Summer and we’ve only seen six sequels already, with 11 more to go in just the Summer season alone. About one-third of the way to reaching 2009 numbers, I believe by the end of this Summer, 2011 will catch up to its predecessor easily.

Before the Summer season started, Rio earned $39M its opening weekend to reach the highest grossing spot of the year. Adding Fast Five as the precursor or prologue to the Summer season, due to its strong performance and fun adrenaline pumping attitude, it earned $86M on its first weekend and $32M its second weekend. Thor has earned $66M its first weekend and came strong its second weekend with $34M.

I expect this Summer to hit larger numbers with more blockbusters sequels: Harry Potter 8, The Hangover: Part 2, Transformers 3, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, Cars 2, Winnie The Pooh, Rise of the Planet of the Apes, and Kung Fu Panda 2.

What will really test this Summer’s strength will be the incorporation of 3D movies to these big budget pictures. We really didn’t see too many 3D movies last Summer. They could generate even more money, but have the average movie goers become wiser after the lack luster of previous 3D films? I know from experience that most post doctored 3D films have looked horrible (Clash of the Titans; Alice in Wonderland), but there are grand opportunities when 3D can work when used appropriately and when shot in 3D (How To Train Your Dragon; Saw 3D; Resident Evil: Afterlife). Throughout this article I’ll try and guide you through your 3D decision making whether I believe it will be worth your time to take it to the next dimension. I honestly hope that people won’t go to the post converted 3D films and this fad will just die a miserable death.

But what are we missing from the big explosive alien films, the action oriented comic book adaptations, and the fun swashbuckling fantasy movies? Where are all the big films to draw in all the ladies? Could leaving out films for the female audience cause this Summer to sway from record breaking heights? Possibly. Last year, 2010 offered a pretty big handful of films oriented for women: The Twilight Saga: Eclipse, Salt, Sex and the City 2, Knight & Day, Eat Pray Love, Killers, and Letters to Juliet, which all drew in large numbers.

This year, 2011 offers very few big pictures that are big romantic comedies or fun lady friendly flicks. So what say you ladies? Does this Summer appease your demands of fun films that tickle your fancy? In a way, I do believe that this Summer, the x-chromosome will not stray away from the theaters. Bridesmaids has already proven to be a big hit, especially for both genders, Thor has a great romantic plot to it and was very fun, in Pirates of the Caribbean we’ll see Johnny Depp tackling Penelope Cruz, and The Hangover, Transformers, and X-Men are generally a good co-gender friendly audience. There is also Friends with Benefits, Something Borrowed, The Help, Crazy Stupid Love, Larry Crowne, Monte Carlo, and Bad Teacher.

The fellas over at have created a great little sneak preview of some of the most highly anticipated films of the summer. Check it out before you venture into the full calendar!

Without further ado, I think I have ranted enough about how I feel the Summer will turn out; how about we see what’s playing. In bold you can read the summary of the films while I’ll give you in regular text a good short synopsis of how I feel about it.

May 6

Chris Hemsworth, Anthony Hopkins and Natalie Portman – The powerful but arrogant warrior Thor is cast out of the fantastic realm of Asgard and sent to live amongst humans on Earth, where he soon becomes one of their finest defenders.

I had so much fun in this film exploring the world of Thor. Not only does it appeal to the geek audience, but it opens up a whole branch of opportunists who have no idea what the Thor universe is even about; much like how Iron Man did it before. This was an awesome prequel to lead into The Avengers next year and I suggest you do not miss it. I thought it would be highly stupid and eye rolling, but it proved to be a great Summer opener. DO NOT SEE THIS IN 3D! The 3D adds nothing and is post doctored as well. See It.

Paula Patton, Laz Alonso and Angela Bassett – Two very different families converge on Martha’s Vineyard one weekend for a wedding.

This looked painfully generic with too many jokes that would make even African American audiences roll their eyes. And then you have the stereotypical one white cast member that has to comment on stupid stuff and make themselves look like an idiot. This movie looks like pure poop on a stick. I don’t see any fun, hardly any heart, and it just doesn’t stand out as something that could be taken seriously. Skip.

Ginnifer Goodwin, Kate Hudson and Colin Egglesfield – Friendships are tested and secrets come to the surface when terminally single Rachel falls for Dex, her best friend Darcy’s fiancé.

Another whiny girl who can’t get the guy because they were too bashful to begin with who struggles to grow up and find the strength they need to succeed in life. Did I mention Kate Hudson is in this movie? Rent.

Mel Gibson, Jodie Foster, Anton Yelchin – A troubled executive (Gibson) adopts a beaver hand-puppet as his sole means of communicating with his family and colleagues.

I’ve heard surprisingly good things about this movie. Although it is in limited release, I wouldn’t say it would be a complete waste of time to see it, but you’ll be better off to save your money for future films this Summer if you are short on cash. Rent.

May 13

Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph, Rose Byrne – Picked as her best friend’s maid of honor, lovelorn and broke Annie (Wiig) looks to bluff her way through the expensive and bizarre rituals with an oddball group of bridesmaids.

This film was almost too hilarious to believe that it was led by all ladies. Not to say that’s a bad thing, but when was the last time you’ve seen a really hilarious film with all leading ladies? I’ve always wanted a movie that gives me a good gang of feminine spark that was equal to The Hangover. The comedy was strong, but at times goes a little past the punch line. All the actresses hit their marks and makes this one of the most memorable films of the year thus far. See it!

Paul Bettany, Cam Gigandet, Maggie Q (3D post converted) – A priest (Bettany) disobeys church law to track down the vampires who kidnapped his niece.

Priest looks like a joke above Jonah Hex and below Daybreakers. I don’t see much complexity in this film and it looks like a lot of it you’ll just have to accept with little explanation. The movie looks dark and with adding the 3D glasses, that won’t help its cause in the least bit. There are some decent actors in this movie, but the story just seems to be very weak to me. Watch it on HBO.

Will Ferrell, Rebecca Hall, Christopher Jordan Wallace – After Nick Halsey (Ferrell) loses his job, the rest of his life begins to crumble as his wife leaves him and he starts drinking again. Oddly enough, selling his worldly possessions on his front lawn with the help of two neighbors (Hall and Wallace) might be the key to his preservation.

Although this is another limited release, I would suggest you try and seek this film out. When Will Ferrell snags a movie that can integrate his comedic timing while toning down his man/baby image, he can perform brilliantly and turn out a decent flick. I’m definitely interested to see how this story plays out and it looks like a great character piece for Ferrell. Seek it out, but don’t try to hard. Rent it if you have to.

May 20

Johnny Depp, Penélope Cruz, Ian McShane (shot in 3D) – After crossing paths with a woman from his past (Cruz), Captain Jack Sparrow (Depp) is swept aboard the Queen Anne’s Revenge, the ship of the formidable pirate Blackbeard (McShane), on an unexpected mission to find the elusive fountain of youth.

They have ditched Orlando Bloom and Kiera Knightly (thank God). This new Pirates is basically the beginning of a new trilogy (a sequel has already been in the beginning stages of being written). I like the integration of a new story element, new pirates, new danger, new action. You don’t really have to know anything about the previous films other than the fact that Jack has the map from the end of At World’s End. The film is fun, but nothing too exciting to make you leap for joy like when we all experienced the first movie. Pirates 4 was shot in 3D, but it was not utilized very well at all. All the moments that stood out in 3D were in the trailer and that’s about it. There was no real added depth to make sets stand out or anything. See it in 2D! Unfortunately the only way to see it in the IMAX is in 3D, so if you have to see it in an IMAX, oh well.

May 26

Bradley Cooper, Zach Galifianakis, Ed Helms – Right after the bachelor party in Las Vegas, Phil, Stu, Alan, and Doug jet to Thailand for Stu’s wedding. Stu’s plan for a subdued pre-wedding brunch, however, goes seriously awry.

This is an obvious must after seeing the first film. Shame on you if you haven’t even seen it. I wouldn’t call the first one revolutionary, but it was a sleeper hit that blew up to mega proportions. A very unexpected comedy that I believe they’ll continue the trend. I am getting a little tired of seeing the TV spots, but I think they are just doing that in order to hide most of the good stuff throughout the movie because I’m sure most of it would either ruin the punchlines or push ratings factor for virgin eyes. I know Todd Phillips wouldn’t want his baby to be ruined by TV spots either. See it!

Jack Black, Angelina Jolie, Jackie Chan (3D) – Po and the Furious Five venture to China to battle a villain and uncover the secrets of Po’s mysterious origins.

If you hold any affection for the first film, than this movie should be a must see. The action sequences look like they have upped their game and the great subtle comedy is in there as well. If you aren’t big on animated films, the first KFP was pretty tolerable, even from an adult perspective. I know some people hate Jack Black, but his role in these films really don’t bother me as much as his live action movies do. I’m not entirely sure if the 3D would be worth it, but it will sure be a fun film to see in theaters. See it! Rent it if you’re on the fence.

May 27

Brad Pitt, Sean Penn, Jessica Chastain – Follow Jack O’Brien from his upbringing in the 1950’s Midwest, through his complicated relationship with his father (Pitt), to his adult life in the modern world, as he seeks answers to the origins and meaning of life.

Many have called this film pretentious after viewing it at Cannes this past week. The film does look gorgeous and although it is a limited release, I think that it wouldn’t be one to miss. It reeks of Oscar bait, but so did The King’s Speech. Rent it.

June 3

James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence – Charles Xavier (aka Professor X) and Erik Lensherr (aka Magneto) are two young men discovering their powers. Banding together with fellow mutants to stop a threat to the world, a rift grows between the two forces, leading to the founding of Professor X’s X-MEN and Magneto’s Brotherhood, and the beginning of their eternal war.

Throughout all the horrendous posters and questionable marketing campaign, by the end, X-Men First Class has delivered some surprisingly awesome trailers to provoke even the strongest naysayers. I believe in Matthew Vaughn after his latest film Kick-Ass, but I am weary on what Fox may have done to the film after seeing X-Men Origins: Wolverine. After a few character previews and the tone of the movie set in the trailers, I would put money on that this film will surprise most haters. I don’t think it will be groundbreaking or brilliant, but I bet it will let you fall in love with those mutants all over again, even though they are a whole new cast of actors. See it!

June 10

Jordana Beatty, Heather Graham, Parris Mosteller – When her parents take an unexpected trip to California, third-grader Judy Moody creates a series of dares in order to have the most thrilling summer of her life. Her way-cool Aunt Opal and little brother Stink join in the adventures.

I keep wanting to call it “and the Not SO Bummer Summer”. This film looks like it is desperately pandering to kids with little imagination. It may be a series of best selling children’s books, but even children themed stories can prove to be smart compelling fun (Toy Story; How To Train Your Dragon). I think it was seeking a Diary of a Wimpy Kid vibe, but looks considerably more slapstick and lame. I don’t even think kids want to see this film with all the other big superhero movies out this Summer. Skip it.

Elle Fanning, Amanda Michalka, Kyle Chandler – Ohio, 1979: when kids shooting a super 8 movie witness a train crash, their shock soon turns to feelings of suspicion and horror after disappearances and inexplicable events begin to take place in town.

Now this looks like a great movie with kids in it. E.T. meets Cloverfield in this J.J. Abrams/Steven Spielberg collaboration. With any Abrams (Star Trek; Cloverfield; Alias; Lost) project you’ll be left in the dark until you see the film. I think this movie has a certain spark of life that some of these films this Summer will wish they had. Adventure, fun, and mystery lie ahead and when Abrams is involved you know it will be worth the effort. Unless you really hate the guy. See it!

June 17

Ryan Reynolds, Blake Lively, Peter Sarsgaard (3D post converted) – When he’s granted a mystical green ring that bestows him with otherworldly powers, test pilot Hal Jordan becomes the first human to earn membership into an intergalactic squadron tasked with keeping peace within the universe. His mission: to combat an enemy called Parallax, which threatens to destroy the universe’s balance of power.

I’ll admit, I’ve had my greatest doubts about this film up until about a month ago when I was watching Top Chef Masters on Bravo and a never before seen TV spot appeared that was about two minutes long. From that point on, I knew that this movie had sold me. From the first trailer, it looked too jokey, too much slapstick comedy that was looking too much like Dare Devil or Fantastic Four. In this new spot, they introduced a new darkness, a more serious tone, that I never would have expected. As much of a Ryan Reynolds fan I was, I kept a very low opinion on this film, but now I am highly looking forward to this movie. I think this movie will have the right balance of romance, danger, action, character, and genuine great wholesome fantasy that will make for a great introduction to DC’s Green Lantern. I do believe that this film is post converted 3D, but I could be mistaken, but either way, like Thor, I can’t see the integration of it used well into the story to make it worth the extra money. See it in 2D!

Jim Carrey, Carla Gugino, Angela Lansbury – After businessman Mr. Popper receives a penguin as a gift, he soon finds himself the caretaker of five more of the seabirds, and he subsequently changes his life and home to accommodate his new charges.

Jim Carrey is going back to his animal roots from Ace Ventura to play with some penguins. Jim can hold his own in comedy, but this adaptation looks a little painful to watch. Man inherits penguins, man finds it difficult to adapt, man’s life is at stake if he doesn’t ditch penguins, makes a realization, learns lesson, and cue happy ending. Nothing to special will lay behind this film. Watch it on USA.

Freddie Highmore, Emma Roberts, Michael Angarano – George, a lonely and fatalistic teen who’s made it all the way to his senior year without ever having done his schoolwork, is befriended by Sally, a popular but complicated girl who recognizes in him a kindred spirit.

Now this one is one of those films that could attract the female audience, but unfortunately it doesn’t have the star power to back it up. It also is in limited release. I do like Emma Roberts, I think she shows great potential and this story has the right tone not to be entirely generic. Rent it.

June 24

Owen Wilson, Larry the Cable Guy and Michael Caine (3D) – Lightning McQueen, pit boss Mater, and the rest of Lightning’s crew enter the Race of Champions, a multi-national event taking place in Japan, Germany, Italy, France, and England.

I don’t really have a an opinion on this film. I never saw the first Cars, but the allusion of talking cars didn’t really hook me. This film looks like it has stepped up on the action and danger, but I think this film is only for those who thoroughly enjoyed the original. From my ears, I’ve heard Cars is the weakest of all Pixar films, but that’s just from what I’ve heard. See it if you liked the original. Rent it or watch it on Showtime.

Cameron Diaz, Jason Segel, Justin Timberlake – Dumped by her sugar daddy, an unsaintly schoolteacher targets one of her colleagues as her next lover — a plan that pits her against a popular co-worker.

Bringing Cameron Diaz back to the dirty comedy might be a good ploy to draw in a crowd. Bad Santa meets School of Rock. When I first saw the red band trailer I laughed pretty hard. The more I think about this film, the more it doesn’t sit too well with me. I’m sure it will be funny, but it won’t push boundaries or be a keeper in the back of your mind. It has a solid cast and the comedy has some right moments, but it won’t be any greater than Hall Pass. Rent it. See it if you have nothing else better to do.

June 29

Shia LaBeouf, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Tyrese Gibson, Josh Duhamel (shot in 3D) – Against the backdrop of the space race between the U.S.S.R. and the USA, the alliance between Sam Witwicky and Optimus Prime is put to the test against a common enemy: Shockwave.

Michael Bay is putting $25,000 on the line if you spot one of those critically acclaimed racist twin bots, Skids and Mudflap, in this film. Now I don’t really know any other director who would do that, but to stake claim on something that serious is pretty bold. He knows how much he messed up when he delivered Revenge of the Fallen and I believe he might redeem himself with this sequel. The trailer looked incredible, it might have showed us maybe a little too much action and not enough story, but are we kidding ourselves? Most people are just going to see this movie for A) Rosie B) Robots blowing shit up C) Chicago getting leveled and D) Nerds have nothing else to groan about. I think from the tone of the trailer, this movie has stepped up its game from its predecessors and will definitely surprise those who may have doubts. It will still have that Bay charm and perhaps lack some character depth, but I believe that this will be quite an enjoyable ride. This was shot in 3D and with Michael Bays extraordinary vision for filmmaking, I think this will be a definite must for 3D viewing. See it in IMAX 3D!

July 1

Tom Hanks, Julia Roberts – Unclear of his next steps after losing his job at a big-box retailer, Larry Crowne enrolls at his local college, where he finds a niche among the school’s community of outcasts, and a connection with a teacher who has lost her passion for life.

Bringing the worlds of Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts back together will most likely spark fireworks on screen. Two of the greatest actors of our present time coming together for a romantic dramedy sounds like a recipe for deliciousness. Larry Crowne looks a tad generic with a dash of good spirits, but I’d say this could be a great date movie for the older crowd. Rent it.

Selena Gomez, Leighton Meester, Katie Cassidy – Three young women vacationing in Paris find themselves whisked away to Monte Carlo after one of the girls is mistaken for a British heiress.

This is more like a CW directed movie that could have been direct to DVD if it didn’t have these three main actresses. Nothing against them, but this film is specifically tailored to the Disney/CW crowd, but even they could see past all of the gloss and glamor. This film looks like a genuine turd. There won’t be anything horrendously wrong about this movie, it just isn’t going to be worth seeing in the theater. If you have to see this movie rent it or wait til it’s on ABC Family.

July 8

Jason Bateman, Charlie Day, Jason Sudeikis (Full Cast) Studio: Warner Bros. Pictures  The Plot: Three friends concoct a deadly plan when they realize their respective bosses are making their lives miserable.

This movie looks sorta dumb to me. The plot sounds kind of simple, but the crazy shenangians look like B-movie gags, and everything else just looks like a waste of time. I have been reading good things, but maybe it’s just my sense of humor? I’d like to think I have good taste. All the actors are pretty solid and it does have a bit of an Office Space vibe, but something just doesn’t sit well with me when I watch the trailer. See it if you’ve seen TF3 already or if you have nothing else better to do. A definite rent.

Kevin James – The animals at one particular zoo decide to break their code of silence in order to help their lovable zookeeper gain the attention of one particular woman.

Dr. Doolittle meets Paul Blart: Mall Cop. Kevin James really needs to expand his depth of acting. I think the best film he’s done so far has been Hitch back in 2005 and it has all be down hill since then. The problem I have with slapstick comedies is that it just relies on fart gags, physical humor, nut shots, and yelling to try and make you laugh. Honestly, who allows these movies to be made? Watch it on TBS.

July 15

Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint (3D post converted) – The end begins as Harry, Ron, and Hermione return to Hogwarts to find and destroy the final horcruxes. But when Voldemort finds out about their mission, the battle we’ve all known has been coming — Harry vs. Voldemort — looms large on the horizon. And who will triumph?

The big finale has finally come. The showdown between Voldemort and Harry Potter has finally reached its epic conclusion. For those who are not into the HP crowd, I think David Yates has been a fantastic director for the past three films and has driven this world into an amazing cinematic journey. Honestly, the last film has to be the best out of the entire series. It may not have felt whole with the way it ended, but HP8 will be incredible. I believe that the way these films are leading up, this film has potential for a Best Picture Oscar Nomination. Not saying it will win, but the acting, visual effects, story, direction, music score, and overall experience has generally improved throughout each film. I think after 10 years, the academy can’t deny that the Harry Potter franchise deserves the grand recognition. Like I said, if this film is anything like the last, but with an obvious conclusion, I definitely forsee a Oscar nomination for sure. If LOTR: Return of the King had a shot, why not Harry Potter?

Unfortunately it is post converted 3D and the only way to see it in an IMAX is in 3D. The way these movies are shot have been pretty dark, so putting on the glasses will add an extra layer of shade onto the screen unless the people running your theater sets the bulbs up high, which I doubt. I’m on the fence about seeing this in IMAX or just 2D because it is the last film and I just know that this film will be absolutely stunning. If you are a die hard fan see it in IMAX 3D (begrudgingly), but if you can’t stand 3D, see it in 2D!

Jim Cummings, Craig Ferguson, Peter Cullen – While out looking for some honey, Winnie the Pooh is pulled into a quest to save Christopher Robin from an imaginary culprit.

Who could say no to Winnie the Pooh? Honestly? This film will definitely be overshadowed by Potter, but moms and grandmothers alike will definitely be treating their children/grand children to this movie. Did you know the voice of Eeyore is the voice of Optimus Prime? Did I just blow your mind? The film looks fun, sweet, and a nice outing for the kids to escape to. See it with the kids or Rent it.

July 22

Chris Evans, Hugo Weaving, Samuel L. Jackson (3D post converted) –  After being deemed unfit for military service during WWII, Steve Rogers volunteers for a top secret research project that turns him into Captain America, the Sentinel of Liberty — a superhero dedicated to defending America’s ideals. His first mission: to combat the Nazi propaganda effort headed by Johann Schmidt (Weaving), also known as the Red Skull.

I think it is a trend that this Summer has so many superhero movies that I had doubts about that just vanish due to amazing trailers. If you are a comic geek, I don’t really have to convince you to see this film. Leading up to The Avengers, I think this is the one film you can’t miss out on, which is either this films or The Avengers potential flaw. It may be a fantasy period piece, but I think it has the right attitude to try and be a stand alone piece. And ladies, did you see Chris Evans’ body in the trailer, what a hunk of man candy. Capt’ America will be some good fun, but don’t see it in 3D. See it/Rent it.

Mila Kunis, Justin Timberlake, Patricia Clarkson – While trying to avoid the clichés of Hollywood romantic comedies, Dylan and Jamie soon discover however that adding the act of sex to their friendship does lead to complications.

No Strings Attached proved that the FWB relationship can be portrayed well in film if the right chemistry of actors can be put together. I think Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake look like a grand couple to pair up on the big screen. When I first saw the red band trailer I was fully in, then I saw the No Strings Attached trailer and felt that FWB was the stronger movie. NSA was pretty entertaining so I hope that this will prove to be just as great or even better. See It. Rent It.

July 29

Daniel Craig, Harrison Ford, Olivia Wilde, Sam Rockwell – In Silver City, Arizona, Apache Indians and Western settlers must lay their differences aside when an alien spaceship crash lands in their city.

One of the lesser known adaptation properties, but the trailer promises Daniel Craig, Olivia Wilde, and Harrison Ford. Those big names should lead to some good turnout for the big sci-fi western action thriller. Director Jon Favreau (Elf; Iron Man) is behind this new property and I can bet that there will be some great action sequences. I don’t know if too many people will buy into this tale, but I think it will be a fun ride in the a theaters. See it/Rent it.

Steve Carell, Ryan Gosling, Julianne Moore – A married guy (Carell) tries to balance handling a crisis with his wife (Moore), attending couples therapy, and maintaining his relationship with his kids.

This story seems a little sad, but it is different than most of the romantic dramedies of late. There is a great cast holding up this film and I think that it will be a good date night movie as well. See it/Rent it.

Hank Azaria, Katy Perry, Jonathan Winters (3D) – The little blue creatures of Smurf village move to New York City after the evil wizard Gargamel chases them out of their mushroom-like homes in the forest.

If you hated Hop and Alvin in the Chipmunks you would probably do yourself a favor and skip this movie too. I wouldn’t say this would be a complete waste for the kids, but I bet it is borderlined Yogi Bear territory. I don’t think I would waste my money on the 3D though. Take the kids. Rent it for the kids.

August 5

Jason Bateman, Ryan Reynolds, Olivia Wilde – A family guy (Bateman) switches bodies with his slacker best friend (Reynolds) in an effort to romance his co-worker (Wilde).

Bateman and Reynolds in their element can completely sweep a movie. Taking them and putting them in a complete role reversal is pretty genius in my mind. A male take on Freaky Friday, this will prove to be an interesting tale. It will be pretty predictable, but I think it should be pretty funny. See it on a rainy day/Rent it.

James Franco, Andy Serkis, Freida Pinto – In present day San Francisco, a scientist (Franco) looks for a cure for Alzheimer’s disease by experimenting on a chimpanzee named Caesar. The development of animal intelligence brings about a war for supremacy between humans and apes.

Originally titled, Rise of the Apes, which they should have stuck with, ROTPOTA is the prequel to all of the chaos that are the Apes movies. It is a great concept to those who hold dear the original films, but I’m not so sure that this film will amass to a broad audience. It does look like it has some nice set pieces and will cover a lot of ground, but perhaps it is a little bit of stretch to try and revamp this series and breath some life back into it. Rent it/Watch it on HBO.

August 12

Jesse Eisenberg, Danny McBride, Nick Swardson – Two fledgling criminals (McBride and Swardson) kidnap pizza delivery guy Nick (Eisenberg), strap a bomb to his chest, and inform him that he has mere hours to rob a bank. As the clock ticks, Nick, with the help of his ex-best friend, Chet (Ansari), deal with the police, hired assassins, flamethrowers, and their own tumultuous relationship.

The Academy Award nominee, Jesse Eisenberg, is going back to his comedy roots in this interesting buddy comedy concept with a bomb strapped to his chest. Will this movie go out with a bang or will this be a big dud? I think it has potential to be a lot of fun. Aziz Ansari is always a little annoying in movies and now he has a pretty centric role in this film. Will you be able to take his annoying voice? Maybe? See it on a rainy day/Rent it.

Nicholas D’Agosto, Emma Bell, Arlen Escarpeta (shot in 3D) – Teen survivors of a suspension-bridge collapse soon begin to fear that there’s no way you can cheat Death.

FD5 looks a lot better and more serious than The Final Destination, but the trailer completely ruins most of the death scenes. So don’t want the trailer if you are wanting to see this movie. These movies are typically good for a grand laugh, but there are nothing special about these movies any more and hardly can you call them a horror other than the fact that Death is hunting people down because they slipped through its fingers. See it for a good laugh because watching it on a small screen with no 3D is rather boring. Pass on it mostly because these movies practically are a waste of time.

Glee Live! 3D!

Like the Justin Bieber experience, the cast of Glee will be shot in 3D to bring you a complete 3D concert experience to the silver screen (probably because you were too cheap to go see the concert). If you are a die hard fan, you’ve probably already seen the concert in real life. I can’t say that a 3D concert in a movie theater would really be worth the trip. Pass.

Emma Stone, Viola Davis, Octavia Spencer – Jackson, Mississippi, 1962: aspiring writer Eugenia “Skeeter” Phelan (Stone) returns home after college, where unexpected friendships with African-American maids Aibeleen Clark (Davis) and Minny Jackson (Spencer) result in a book that gives a previously unheard voice to a community’s suffering.

Emma Stone has become a rising star of late and she has a pretty good depth of acting talent. This will be one of her bigger leading roles as she takes on a more serious role. It looks sweet and thoughtful, something that is a big break away from all of the explosions and superheros. See it/Watch it on HBO. Rent it. Pass if you don’t like period pieces or Emma Stone.

August 19

Jason Momoa, Ron Perlman, Rose McGowan (3D post converted) – Muscle-bound warrior Conan the Cimmerian (Momoa) seeks to avenge the murder of his father and the slaughter of his village.

No words could really explain how much I think this could truly suck. Have you seen Clash of the Titans? Well that’s how much I believe that this movie will be a like in similar ways. Tons of wasted characters, a bunch of action that takes up most of the screen time, and a plot you probably could care less about. I’m sure the 3D is a complete waste of time too. Pass.

Anton Yelchin, Colin Farrell, David Tennant (3D) – Teenager Charley Brewster (Yelchin) guesses that his new neighbor Jerry Dandrige (Farrell) is a vampire responsible for a string of recent deaths. When no one he knows believes him, he enlists Peter Vincent (Tennant), the opportunistic host of his favorite TV show, to help him take down Jerry and his guardian.

The whole movie is practically in the trailer, so if you don’t want to tarnish your view of this remake, don’t watch the trailer. I really like Anton Yelchin, but the whole vampire fad has got to die. This looks like another remake that has been ruined set on nabbing just the teen demographic rather than reviving the life of the original. Pass.

Anne Hathaway, Jim Sturgess, Patricia Clarkson – Emma meets Dexter on their night of their college graduation: July 15th, 1989. And for the next two decades, very July 15th reveals how the two are faring in life and love.

Having Anne Hathaway in a romance movie is good, adding Jim Sturgess to get the women to swoon, even better. The plot is pretty simple and you probably already know how it will end, but the trip to get to the end will be entertaining to watch. Rent it.

Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (shot in 3D)

Jessica Alba, Jeremy Piven, Joel McHale – A former spy (Alba) returns to her old profession in order to stop a villain known as the Timekeeper (Piven) and his nefarious plan for world domination.

Eight years after Spy Kids 3D, this franchise probably didn’t need to get fired back up, but hey why not? There haven’t been too many kids movies this Summer, but those kids who once loved the first three have probably grown up and all the kids who are kids now might not have seen them. I doubt parents really care if their kids have seen them, it will just be something to take them to. The fact that Alba, Piven, and McHale are in this film sort of make me curious, but I’m sure this movie will be bland. Robert Rodriguez is helming it again, so it can’t be all that bad right? Take the kids/Rent for the kids, but mostly pass.

August 26

Decades-old found footage from an abandoned NASA mission to the moon reveals the existence of alien life.

This little film was pushed back to next year, but was brought back to this Summer! Not everyone loves a POV movie or takes to fondly to the found footage gimmick. The fact that it is in space sort of wins me over. The vastness that is the endless vacuum of space is haunting and I think this film will be pretty thrilling. It won’t tread into any new territory, but it will be a good watch. See it. Rent it.

Katie Holmes, Guy Pearce, Bailee Madison – A young girl (Madison) sent to live with her father (Pearce) and his new girlfriend (Holmes) discovers creatures in her new home who want to claim her as one of their own.

Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark may have Katie Holmes in it, but don’t let that hold you back from seeing this movie. I think it looks pretty frightening. Insidious was pretty great and it sort of holds the same sense of tension. See it if you’re a horror geek. Rent it for a good night in.

Paul Rudd, Elizabeth Banks, Zooey Deschanel – A pot bust sends nice-guy Ned (Rudd) to jail, and though he’s released early on good behavior, he returns home to discover that his girlfriend has left and taken his dog with her. Homeless and unemployed, his divides his time by couch-surfing at the homes of his three sisters (Banks, Deschanel, and Mortimer) — and causing chaos in each of their lives.

When you bring in such great talent that will most likely house a lot of chemistry, you’ve got yourself one little dramedy you won’t want to miss. Of course this will be your stereotypical coming of age film where Rudd will have to learn to grow up, but I think this will have great wit and charm to it. I think it will be in limited release, so seek it out! See it! Rent it!

After the Summer movie season is all said and done, the next few months are just a downward spiral into nothingness until we get to the Oscar season. From a Taylor Lautner “thriller” and an Anna Faris rom/com to Shark Night 3D and Reel Steel with Hugh Jackman, September and October look pretty bleak. But at least October isn’t as completely lost with having The Rum Diary, Paranormal Activity 3, and The Thing remake in stock. And perhaps the Three Muskateers will be entertaining?

I hope you enjoyed this look into the future of cinema this Summer so you can plan your budget accordingly. My wallet already feels sore from over abuse.

All plot descriptions courtesy of

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